Limp Bizkit -- Still Sucks

Limp BizkitStill Sucks

✦✧✧✧ What we once loved so much about Bizkit, back at the height of their powers, was how deftly they fused metal and rap, with equal deft contributions from all members of the band. This, the Jacksonville quintet’s sixth studio album, is something else: a hip-hop-centric collection of songs from all over the musical map, except there’s virtually no metal here at all.

U.D.O. -- We Are One

U.D.O.We Are One

✦✧✧✧ This is 74 minutes of power metal bolstered incessantly by a German armed forces orchestra. So of course it’s over the top epic at times, what with the horns and woodwinds and whatnot. But aside from that, the latest from Accept frontman Udo Dirkschneider is surprisingly limp. Also, this album cover looks like it belongs to the Now That’s What I Call Music series.

Mayhem -- Daemon


✦✧✧✧ Look, I get it: Mayhem deserve at least a modicum of respect for birthing Norwegian black metal, and their general commitment to evil and whatnot. The problem is that this feels like Mayhem imitating themselves, or going through the paces. There are interesting and fun moments, but they’re too few and far between, especially for an album that’s entirely too long (a solid hour with two "bonus" tracks).

Leprous -- Pitfalls


✦✧✧✧ I tried to listen to the new Leprous album (after not hearing any of their last few). My god, it’s fucking awful! I barely made it through half. Not even is it not metal, it is… I don’t know what the hell it is! Not even prog rock. Maybe vaguely in the vein of moodier stuff by bands like Marillion or Talk Talk, but not proggy either, and with vocals that are so ridiculously over the top falsetto that they sound like Justin Hawkins from the Darkness, but without any hint of irony.