☆☆☆☆ This is deadly boring, a lackluster blend of Orchid, Bonnie Tyler, and Boston. It’s well done and all, but it’s weighed down by a heavy blanket of downtempo indifference. Also, we should be very clear about this: it ain’t metal, by any stretch. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ I just can’t get behind a band that sounds like System Of A Down covering The Shaggs. Look, I’m all for taking the cultural high road, but just because you can play a double harmonic scale on distorted guitars doesn’t mean your work is done. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ Admittedly, I’m not the world’s biggest doom metal fan… but this album is even worse than the Cathedral swan song. Self-congratulatorily boring, and the production values are solidly in “early 90s demo tape” territory. I want that hour of my life back now, please. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ The idea of this album isn’t terrible, but its execution is so tedious that it can only be seen as a chore. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ Try as I might, I just cannot get into IWABO at all. It’s unlistenable, and not in a good way. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ I’m starting to suspect that no one told James LaBrie that’s he’s actually not a metalhead. To wit, this saccharine and forgettable waste of time sounds like a mashup of loudly detuned guitars and a full-length album by Rebecca Black. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ Holy hell, was this terrible. Go ahead and sample the tracks if you can, for your own education… but don’t force yourself to experience it Clockwork-Orange-style. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ Not only is this not metal, but it’s not very inspired or even fully-formed besides. And this, friends, is why Isis was right to break up when they did. See the rest here
☆☆☆☆ This is fucking garbage. See the rest here
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