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EmmureEternal Enemies

★☆☆☆ When the band is firing on all cylinders, they deliver a loud, discordant, and undeniable kick in the teeth. Sadly, the band only seems to fire on all cylinders when vocalist Frankie Palmeri is out of the room. Worse, he keeps showing up, sounding like Fred Durst post-Significant Other, when the fame got to his head, and he was reduced to self-parody.

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MassacreBack From Beyond

★☆☆☆ Give the people what they want, that’s what I always say. And that’s exactly what Massacre has done with their latest album. This is Grade A 100% Floridian death metal, straight out of Death’s “Scream Bloody Gore” or Malevolent Creation’s “Stillborn.” And the fact that I namedropped two lesser albums from important bands in the genre is your clue: if you’re going to deliver prototypical fare, at least have the decency to break some new ground.

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DestrageAre You Kidding Me? No.

★★★☆ Wow. I’ll tell you that this bizarre album nods to the Dillinger Escape Plan, Mr Bungle, Between The Buried And Me, Skrillex, The Mars Volta, Green Jellö… but even all of that won’t really capture the nature of this hybridized beast. Nor will any of that tell you that, through whatever specific alchemy the band wield, it actually works surprisingly well.

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Steel PantherAll You Can Eat

★★★☆ Steel Panther have elevated the act of crass party-time parody into high art. There’s a cognitive dissonance between, for example, between the near-perfect emulation of Journey’s brand of anthemic balladry and the lyrical content of “Bukkake Tears.” And so the whole album goes. The nonsense is right at the surface at all times, but the hair metal the band wields is expert enough to help you forget.

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Austrian Death MachineTriple Brutal

★★☆☆ This album has some truly great moments, surrounded by truly unremarkable stretches. The Ahnold schtick has never sounded more tired, but the unavoidable skits are quickly forgotten in the face of all the different shredz. And yet, never has 46 minutes felt so long. Triple Brutal is worth a listen, if you are man enough to make it all the way through.